Cletus went down to Florida    he was looking for a car to steal    he was in a bind, ten payments behind    so the bank repo'd his wheels    when he came across this old man    down at Jalopy's used car lot    then Cletus jumped up on top of one and said    "Fella's let tell you what"       I'm not gonna be proud of the deed i'm bout to do    with no time to spare, gotta be somewhere    so i'm gonna steal a car from you    now i've seen your selection here    and I admit the pickens are few    I know the Pinto's old but consider it stole    cause I gotta show to do       The man said "my name's Jalopy"    as he gave an evil grin    cause he knew that car    wouldn't get to far    before the motor blew up again       Cletus, you better hit the road    if your gonna be a star    the shows way up in Georgia    and your openin up for Garth    your future ridin on this shiny Pinto painted gold    and if your late, it's Jeff Foxworthy's show       Cletus said no way in heck you gonna    open up that show    then fire blew from the manifold    as the front right tire blowed    he pushed that wreck across the street    and man was cletud tissed       he tried and tried to start her up    but sounded something like this       (c'mon c'mon oh gosh, i'm in a mess    what am i gonna do    my one big shot with Garth Brooks)       When Cletus open'd up the hood he said    well i'll be a son of a gun    and it didn't take long to figure out    that the wreck wouldn't run       Fire from the engine, lots of smoke    he can already here them redneck jokes    dang blang oil pan laying in the road    will he make the show, no heck no       (whistles)    Taxi, greyhound, yeller cab, somebody    I'll show him a redneck    he'll have a redneck    when i get my hands around his throat    i'm sick of it       Cletus shook his head    as he watched Foxworthy show    and he joked about how he passed a burnt gold pinto    later on garth told cletus    you'll never get the chance again    as he gave the check to that darn redneck    who drove a mercedes benz       He said hey big guy before i go    would you like to hear another redneck joke    did you know i got my own tv show    well does anybody watch it, no heck no       You might be a redneck if    your mommy n daddy catches you out behind the barn    rippin Jeff Foxworthy for talkin bout rednecks all the time    aww shoot, I'm jus' kiddin Jeff, i wish i could be your best friend    do you like me, i would love to be on your tv show    come here to me