I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.  I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,  And all their yucky yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo!  I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero!  I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight.  I'd sleep with women only. Man, it would be great.  I'd throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn't want to mate.  I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn't straight!  I wish I were a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke.  I'd sleep with k.d. lang. Mel Gibson, take a hike!  I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike.  I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke!  I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung.  It shouldn't really matter how somebody is hung.  Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue!  I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!  I DARE Casey Kasem to play this!  I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.  I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,  And all their yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo  (I hate that machis'mo!)  I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!