She was frigid like a Bible    When she met her boyfriend Michael    He took her in his Zephyr    They sat like salt and pepper    Looking out across the city    From Lover's Leap is pretty    The lights they flick and flutter    He told her how he loved her    Next night he called for her    But Dad protected daughter    And told him she was poorly    A lie was told there surely    So Michael felt rejected    This wasn't quite expected    He drove off to his local    Where he felt anti-social       She cried all night at missing    The boy she could be kissing    While he was falling over    He drunk himself back sober    And went home in a taxi    And crashed out in the back seat    He slept just like a baby    Which he hadn't done just lately    He saw her in the morning    Out with his sister Pauline    She felt all shy and soppy    He acted cool and cocky    He said tonight at Charlie's    There's going to be a party    I'll meet you at half seven    She visualised the heaven       If you ever change your mind    Which you do from time to time    Never chew a pickle    With a little slap and tickle    You have to throw the stone    To get the pool to ripple       That night they danced together    It looked like love forever    He put his hand on her leg    You should have heard what she said    He tried again much later    It seemed to aggravate her    He drove home in silence    Avoiding all violence    She said let's watch the city    From Lover's Leap is pretty    I think I need the fresh air    She put a comb through her hair    Then while she turned to kiss him    And very nearly missed him    She put her hand on his leg    He felt her tongue in his head       If you ever change your mind    Which you do from time to time    Never chew a pickle    With a little slap and tickle    You have to throw the stone    To get the pool to ripple