They do it down on camber sands    They do it at Waikiki    Lazing about the beach all day,    At night the crickets creepy    Squinting faces at the sky    A Harold Robbins paperback    Surfers drop their boards and dry    And everybody wants a hat       But behind the Chalet    My holiday\'s complete    And I feel like William Tell    Maid Marian on her tiptoed feet    Pulling mussels from a shell       Shrinking in the sea so cold    Topless ladies look away    A he-man in a sudden shower    Shelters from the rain    You wish you had a motor boat    To pose around the harbour bar    And when the sun goes off to bed    You hook it up behind the car       Two fat ladies window shop    Something for the mantelpiece    In for bingo all the nines    A panda for sweet little niece    The coach drivers stand about    Looking at a local map    About the boy he\'s gone away    Down to next door\'s caravan