Call it masochism   Or better yet don't call   I made you my religion   But I'm losing faith in god      Cause I'm in need of answers   For these self-important questions   Like why I keep up patterns   When I should be moving forward   I'm making excuses   For this awkward downward spiral   Of kisses and curses   But mostly just denial      I'm filling up my gas tank   I've got borderlines to cross   You'll wake up in Septemeber   But by August I'll be gone   I've got a future I'm not sure of   In a place colder than this   A toast to new experience   We'll seal it with a kiss      Cause I'm in need of answers   For these self-important questions   Like why I keep up patterns   When I should be moving forward   I'm making excuses   For this awkward downward spiral   Of kisses and curses   But mostly just denial      If you had a nickel   For every time you asked what's wrong and I didn't say a word   You could buy that ticket   You could come up here and visit   We could pretend that nothing went wrong      I keep making decisions    That only bring me backwards   And in the heat of any moment   I can never count on my nerves   And my vocabulary   Only has the wrong words   To deliver that one punchline   I'm done and this is absurd      A song's a great excuse   For an awkward downward spiral   A song's a great excuse   For a life lived in denial