In your little black book   You've got the names   And the favourite persuasions   Of the people in the headlines   I'm in there under A   And I'm rated under B   You've got photographs to prove it   And I swear to God it's not me   You've got a hard heart   Being hard is your art   You think love is a dirty dirty word   You pick up the phone   And you ring me when I'm at home   And then you put it down   And I'm reaching for my valium      My secret life   Living life   On a knife edge of life   Tell my wife   And she's just had a breakdown   And I   I'm not rich   But you know I'm top in my pitch   And you'll ruin the lot   Finish everything I've got   My secret life   Secret life      I'll give you anything   Anything to shut you up   Why do you hate me so much   What have I ever done to you   But leave you      I don't want to play   Cat and Mouse   Have the neighbours looking over At my house   All the secret smiles   When I walk in the room   And I think I'm going to   Crack up soon   I'm going to run away   Find a place in the dark   Where I don't have to hear   The nasty nasty talk      Change my sex   Change my hair   Be hard to find anywhere      My secret life   Living life   On a knife edge of life   Tell my wife   And she's just had a breakdown   And I   I'm not rich   But you know I'm top in my pitch   And you'll ruin the lot   Finish everything I've got   My secret life   Secret life      My secret life (x5)