I was takin' a trip out to LA  toolin' along in my Chevrolet  tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio    just as I cross the Mississippi line  I heard that highway start to whine  and I knew that left rear tire was about to go    Well the spare was flat and I got uptight  'cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight  so I just limped down the shoulder on the rim    I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car  it was right in front of this little bar  A kind of a redneck lookin' joint   called the Dew Drop Inn    Well I stuffed my hair up under my hat  and told the bartender that I had a flat  and would he be kind enough to give me change for a one    There was one thing I was sure proud to see  there wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him and me  And he just looked disgusted and  pointed toward the telephone    I called up the station down the road a ways  and he said he wasn't very busy today  and he could have somebody there   in just about ten minutes or so    He said "Now you just stay right where yer at"   and I didn't bother tellin' the durn fool   I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go    I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar  when some guy walked in and said   "Who owns this car with the peace sign   the mag wheels and four on the floor?"    Well he looked at me and I damn near died  and I decided that I'd just wait outside  so I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door    Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin  these five big dudes come strollin' in  with this one old drunk chick and   some fella with green teeth    And I was almost to the door when the biggest one  said "You tip your hat to this lady, son"  and when I did all that hair fell out from underneath    Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight  in Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night  especially when there was three of them   and only one of me    Well they all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick  and I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick  so I just reached out and kicked ol'   green-teeth right in the knee    He let out a yell that'd curl your hair  but before he could move I grabbed me a chair  and said "Watch him folks 'cause he's a   thouroughly dangerous man"    "Well you may not know it but this man's a spy  he's an undercover agent for the FBI  and he's been sent down here to   infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan"    He was still bent over holdin' on to his knee  but everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me  and I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went    I said "Would you believe this man has gone as far  as tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars  and he voted for George McGovern for president?"    "Well he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko fags I betcha he's even got a Commie flag  tacked up on the wall inside of his garage"    "He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys  he may look dumb but that's just a disguise  he's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"    They all started lookin' real suspicious at him  and he jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute, Jim  you know he's lyin' I've been livin'   here all of my life"    "I'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Burch  and I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church  And I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"    Then he started sayin' somethin' about the way I was dressed but I didn't wait around to hear the rest  I was too busy movin' and hopin'   I didn't run outta luck"    And when I hit the ground I was makin' tracks  and they were just takin' my car down off the jacks  So I threw the man a twenty and   jumped in and fired that mother up    Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud  of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd  comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trot    And I guess I shoulda gone ahead and run  but somehow I couldn't resist the fun  of chasin' them just once around the parkin' lot    Well they're headin' for their car but I hit the gas  and spun around and headed them off at the pass  well I was slingin' gravel and   puttin' a ton of dust in the air    Well I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin'  like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin' but I figured I oughta go ahead an   split before the cops got there    When I hit the road I was really wheelin'  had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'  and I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arkansas    I think I'm gonna re-route my trip  I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped  if I went to LA via Omaha    these lyrics are submitted by amber