He lives down by the furnace  Janitor, Janitor  And he makes the young kids nervous  Janitor, Janitor  He tells everybody to call him Tony  But he smells like oil, and his ass is bony  Janitor, Janitor    He's got a lot of charms  Janitor, Janitor  Like the prison tattoos on his arms  Janitor, Janitor  He cleans the bathroom and tells dirty jokes  He dresses like a woman and rolls his own smokes  He's the Janitor, Janitor  He's the Janitor, Janitor    Hey there Neil, how ya doin'    Hey, not too bad.    Hey, I guess I saw you talkin' to the janitor this morning  Well, strange thing...I went in early, eh, to practice my volleyball spike in the gym and he was buffin' the floor with that electronic, buffomatic floor waxing thing he's got, eh? And so I was trying to spike, eh, and he was tryin' to buff all around me as I was tryin' to spike, and I said, "Hey pal, I'm tryin' to concentrate, Mr. Janitor, and I wanna work on my spike." And he said, "Oh yeah?" And he dressed up like Kate Smith and touched himself on the leg with a big wooden spoon and then he waxed me so hard I felt the hairs givin' way on myself, and then I make a little kind of oven mitt with what I could put back together.    How's your spike now?    Brilliant!    I guess it would be.    Hey Neils! Neil! Neils! Neils! Neil alert!    I was talkin' to the Janitor this mornin' too, ya know.    Ohhhh..    Yeah, he took me down, he took me down behind the furnace    Oh really?    And he showed me that sausage collection that he's got.    I heard he only has one.    Yeah, but it's real pretty.    One day I wanna be like him  Janitor, Janitor  Masturbating as I clean the gym  Janitor, Janitor  I think it must be a really nice life  Cleaning your nails with a hunting knife  Being stained yellow, the rest of your life.  Janitor, Janitor