Well you look smart   But it's just booksmarts   'Cause you don't act so smart   Around us lately   'Cause throwing canaries (throwing canaries)   At your friends   Is not a sign of affection      Did you join the Slug Club, baby   So you could network   With the kids with connections   Or was it for Slughorn's food?   'Cause the food in the dining hall (food in the dining hall)   C'mon Hermione   Dining hall food's pretty good      One thousand O.W.L.s   Won't tell us if you're crazy   One thousand O.W.L.s   Can't keep Ron from mauling Lavender Brown      You keep finding McLaggen   Now you're taking him to   The Christmas party   Don't you know that he's just a dude?   I bet he likes crap bands   I heard he has Jock Jams   C'mon Hermione   You're making things pretty awkward here (awkward)