We were playing wizard chess this Christmas   We were playing wizard chess this Christmas   When you came down to the Burrow to ask us   To stop the game and start to play a new one down at the Ministry      You want us as your pin-up stooge   For policies that we won't approve   We're Dumbledore's man, through and through   And our loyalty lies with the truth      I'm not gonna be your mascot   I'm not gonna dance for the Ministry, no   I'm not gonna be your mascot   I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit for you   And your political aspirations   I won't pretend that things are cool   For your approval ratings      Oh Rufus Scrimgeour   I'm inclined to believe you're a vampire   'Cause you're going suck the truth   You're going to suck the truth out of the situation at hand      And we're not gonna win this war   We're not gonna win this war with lies (lies)   Lies (lies)   Lies   Lies (lies)   Lies (lies)   Lies!      I'm not gonna be your mascot   I'm not gonna dance for the Ministry, no   I'm not gonna be your mascot   I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit, no   I'm not gonna be your mascot   I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit, no   I'm not gonna be your mascot   I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit, no   I'm not gonna be your mascot (NO!)   I'm not gonna dance for the Ministry, no   I'm not gonna be your mascot (NO!)   I'm not gonna put on the monkey suit, oh no