intro - you gonna, you gonna fukin order the curry then or what?    yeah, alright..pass me the phone clart.   y'wa...hang on mate..   whass, wha...aw, say whats the fukin number, son   yew aah, switch yer fukin phone on...c'mon..fukin, i'm staarvin'      er, allo, allo..yeah, i i i'd like to order a f.. uh...a curry please, yeah   er, chicken tikka massala, er, 4....4 pila...pilau rice's   (background - can i ave a naan bread)    aw fukin 'ell..we gotta, fukin.. naan bread as well...   uh, f.. keema nan..3...3 onion bhajis..er, fukin..an an some pepsi   yeah, yeah spa..is ..its a takeaway.      back in the port, stackin up yer bong   havin a fukin laugh and still signing on   i went to pick up a curry and they saw my capri   i payed them in draw and the keema now its free      the korma was wicked and it only cost a fiver   and they asked me to become the new delivery driver   the orders added up, two by fukin two   i can sell draw when im delivering vindaloos      when you're driving in town late at night   fuk me clarts you see some sights   wrecking it up in my capri   delivering a chicken bhuna going into Maindee      now you see me knocking out making a cut   ill give you free madras if you keeps yer mouth shut   ill bring you a curry and sell you the blow   ill put hash mix in yer bombay potatoes      chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice   chicken tikka massala chips and rice   chicken tikka massala chips and rice   chicken tikka massala chips and rice      i delivered the mushroom biriani to this babysitter   she invited me in and i fuked her up the shitter   i took a lamb madras and a quarter to Brynglas   my bitch got three ounces stuffed in her ass      she sucked me off and spat in the mint sauce   you don't wanna know what she put in the main course   chicken tikka massala delivered to 56   cause the people there are pricks   cause they never fukin tips      i delivers the curry right down pill   this bird 'ad no money so she gave me a fucking thrilll   i closed my eyes and made a wish   i chucked my man milk up her fukin starfish      i had 10 pints and smoked some crack   now i gotta deliver a prawn dhansak   i got to the house, i was sick on the doorstep   but i made them pay cash cause i won't take a cheque      chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice   chicken tikka massala chips and rice   chicken tikka massala chips and rice   chicken tikka massala chips and rice       herbs and spices, deliver pills on ice   i never get c-caught like in miami vice    i get 'em really dodgy on the streets of the city   deliverin' more draw than curry...which ain't a pity      but when the filth pull me over on the hard shoulder   i gives them LSD curry and a strawberry pavlova   and i pays them off with all this cash that i rake in   the girlies love me so i'm always flicking bacon       all this mad funk, never fukin quits   ever seen someone get fuked with a pneumatic drill in quik-fit?   i doubt it clart, now gimme the fukin money   this is some of the shit i sees delivering curry       chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice   chicken tikka massala chips and rice   chicken tikka massala chips and rice   went down private-eyes and bought a special device      it wasn't very long before i got an order wrong    and my special bombay spuds turned this bloke into a mong   he started complaining when he woke up   cause it was three weeks later and he missed the world cup      he got fuked off, i must've really bought his piss   cause i got fired next time i went into the office   they found my capri with the draw they had to seize   fcuk this splew i'm off to work down the chinese