He said "Mary is the rarest gem   And she's the wildest flower   I'll make my Mary merrier   With every passing hour"   So I made a certain sacrifice   As soon as we were through   I said "your Mary loves you lad"   And he said "Mary who?"      You don't know if an apple's rotten   Til you take a bite   You don't know if there's breakfast comin   Til you spend the nite   And I'm sure I'll kiss my share of frogs   Before my time has come   But the world is full of bastards   And I've dated every one      And the lad was oh-so-generous   Much more than you would think   He didn't have a license   But he still drove me to drink   And I had no insecurities   So he gave me some of his   But I didn't need his sorrow   Man, I'm Irish as it is!      You don't know if the beer is bitter   Til ya buy a glass   You don't know if your peace of mind   Is just a peice of ass   And I'm sure I'll kiss my share of frogs   Before my time has come   But the world is full of bastards   And I've dated every one!