The family garden is a special place   In sun and shade there, I was raised   But voices fade away and rooms are rearranged   Now I'm the family gardener      You need a stethoscope and a good good rake   Some beer for snails and a rope for snakes   A flowerbed to fall in as the moonlight breaks   When you're the family gardener   And I'm the family gardener      As I look down with my two eyes and my two green thumbs   I despise the people who walk on the green green grass   I grew with my watered love      Now some other son sleeps in the southern wing   And someone else's mother sits to paint the pastoral scene   My father always said that I would never amount to anything   But I'm the family gardener   I'm the family gardener