Hasn't anybody seen me lately   I'll tell you why   Hasn't anybody seen me lately   I'll tell you why   I caught something that made me so sick   That I thought I would die   And I almost did too      First my knees began to tremble   My heart began to pound   First my knees began to tremble   My heart began to pound   It was arrhythmic and out of tune   I lost my equilibrium   And fell face down upon the ground      As I lay there on that cold pavement   A tear ran down my face   'Cause I thought I was dying   You boys know I'm not a religious man   But I sent a prayer out just in case   You never know   Lo and behold almost immediately   I had reason to believe my prayer had been heard in a very special place   'Cause I heard this sound      Ooooh   Yes   Ooooh   Yes, it was harps and angels   Harps and angels coming near   I was too sick to roll over and see them   But I could hear them singing ever so beautifully in my ear      Then the sound began to subside   And they sounded like background singers   And a voice came down fromt he heavens above   It was a voice full of anger from the Old Testament   And a voice full of love from the New One   And the street lit up like it was the middle of the day   And I lay there quiet and listened to what that voice had to say      He said, "You ain't been a good man   You ain't been a bad man   But you've been pretty bad   Lucky for you this ain't your time   Someone very dear to me has made another clerical error   And we're here on a bit of a wild goose chase   But I want to tell you a few things   That'll hold you in good stead when it is your time   So you better listen close   I'm only going to say this once      When they lay you on the table   Better keep your business clean   'Fore they lay you on the table   Better keep your business clean   Don't want no back stabbing, ass grabbing   You know exactly what I mean   Alright girls - we're outta here"      Ooooh      "Encore. Encore."   Ooooh   (He spoke French)   "Tres bien   Encore"   And off they went into the night      Almost immediately I felt better   And I come round to see you boys   'Cause you know we ain't living right   And while it was fresh   I wanted to tell you what he told me      He said, "When they lay you on the table   Better keep your business clean   When they lay you on the table   Better keep your business clean   Else there won't be no harps and angels coming for you   I'll be trombones, kettle drums, pitchforks, and tambourines"      Sing it like they did for me one time   Ooooh - yes   Ooooh - beautiful   Wish I spoke French      So actually the main thing about this story is for me   There really is an afterlife   And I hope to see all of you there      Let's go get a drink