Hello, Mr. Fussy    Hello, Mrs. Nice    Have you ever shared a bathtub    Full of beer and ice?      I know you want to    I know you can    Put down your children    And free up your hands      Come on and free up your hands    Come on and free up your hands      Do you still like to kiss her?    Do you still hold her hand?    Would you cheat with her sister?    Do you march to her band?       And when you're by yourself    With a drink in one hand    Do you break your little rule    And give yourself the other hand?      C'mon and give yourself a hand    C'mon and give yourself a hand    C'mon and give yourself a hand    C'mon and give yourself a hand      I know your wife's uncle   He's a very nice man    He's got long clever fingers    On his lovely pink hands       Did you give that bad boy    The back of your hand?    I know you want to    I know you can      Give him the back of your hand    Give him the back of your hand    Give him the back of your hand    Give him the back of your hand