Oh, it's music to my ears, oh man   How can I describe the way I feel?   Fuckin' great, man   Okay, let me see    How can I begin?      Locked in Mariah's wine cellar, all I had for lunch   Was red wine, more red wine, and Cap'n Crunch   Red wine for breakfast and for brunch   And to soak it up, an in-between snack, crackers to munch   Mariah, whatever happened to us?   Why did we have to break up?   All I asked for was a glass of punch   You see, I never really asked for much    I can't imagine what's   Going through your mind after such   A nasty break up with that Latin hunk   Louis Miguel, Nick Cannon better back the fuck up   I'm not playing, I want to back you, punk   This is Hello Kitty bedspread satin funk   Mixed with Egyptian with a little rap and punk   Zap and Eric Clapton shaft brings ABBA crunk   And yeah, baby, I want another crack at you   You can beat me with any spatula that you want   I mean, I really want you bad, you cunt   Nick, you had your fun   I've come to kick you in your sack of junk   Man, I can use a fresh batch of blood   So prepare your vernacular for Dracular acupuncture      Bagpipes from Baghdad   When will it ever cease?   For Pete's sakes, he's crazy to say the least   Bagpipes from Baghdad   What's going through my mind?   Half the time when I rhyme, we're blowing up like   Bagpipes from Baghdad   Someone turn the vacancy sign on   'Cause I'm gone, blowing up like   Bagpipes from Baghdad   I run the streets and mack   Like a madman holding a Glack      You can be a permanent fixture in my lyrical mixture   I'm the miracle whip, a trickster   My signature sound when a tube of lipstick's around   I'm bound to put it on in an instant, wow, man   What an ensemble, what an assortment of pharma   Ceuticals this beautiful pill dust to my karma   Cuticles get residue just from touching the bottle   Never knew I could remind me so much of my mama   I'll cut you like Dahmer, pull the butcher knife on you   The size of a sword, boy, I'm like the fuckin' Red Sonja   Get it stuck in your cornea, nice knowing you, Norman   You're so fuckin' annoying, drop the shovel, boy   You don't know what the fuck you're doing   I ain't playing no fuckin' more   Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin' whore   Every minute, there's a sucker born, snuck up on   Malakai, made the motherfucker suck on a struck of corn   Shaka, shaka kahn, shaka kahn   Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck and tell em it's fuckin' on   Man, what the fuck are you doing?   You're running over the snow blower with the lawnmower   Blowing your bagpipes from Baghdad      Bagpipes from Baghdad   When will it ever cease?   For Pete's sake, he's crazy to say the least   Bagpipes from Baghdad   What's going through my mind?   Half the time when I rhyme, we're blowing up like   Bagpipes from Baghdad   Someone turn the vacancy sign on   'Cause I'm gone, blowing up like   Bagpipes from Baghdad   I run the streets and act   Like a madman holding a Glad bag      In the bed with two brain dead lesbian vegetables   I bet you they become heterosexual   Nothing will stop me from molesting you   Titty-fucking you 'til your breast nipple flesh tickles my testicles   Is what they said to the two conjoined twins   How's it going, girlfriends, you need a boyfriend?   You need some ointment, just set up an appointment   Who's gonna see the doctor first, we'll do a coin flip   I just got my one-year sobriety coin chip   When the bad get going, how bad does the going get?   Baby, you shouldn't have any trouble rubbing groins with   Each other especially when you're joined at the hip   I'm going to get the needle and thread from the sewing kit   An attempt to separate 'em and stitch 'em back at the loin shit   Lure the little boy with the chocolate Chips Ahoy! chip   Cookie lookie, even took me a Polaroid      Bagpipes from Baghdad   When will it ever cease?   For Pete's sakes, he's crazy to say the least   Bagpipes from Baghdad   What's going through my mind?   Half the time when I rhyme, we're blowing up like   Bagpipes from Baghdad   Someone turn the vacancy sign on   'Cause I'm gone, blowing up like   Bagpipes from Baghdad   I run the streets and act   Like a madman holding a Glad bag   Bagpipes from Baghdad