Three Nights Drunk      [One, two , three!]      The first night that I come home    So drunk I could not see   Found a horse in my stable   Where my horse oughta be   Come here my little wifey    Explain this thing to me   How come a horse in the stable   Where my horse oughta be?   You blind fool, you crazy fool   Can't you never see?   It's only a milkcow    You're granny sent to me   I've traveled this world over   Ten thousand miles or more   But a saddle upon a milkcow's back   I never did see before      The second night that I come home   So drunk I could not see   Found a coat a-hanging on the rack   Where my coat oughta be   Come here my little wifey    Explain this thing to me   How come a coat a hanging a hanging on the rack   Where my coat oughta be?   You blind fool, you crazy fool   Can't you never see?   It's only a bedquilt   You're granny sent to me   I've traveled this world over   Ten thousand miles or more   Pockets upon a bedquilt   I never did see before       The third night that I come home   So drunk I could not see    Found a head a-laying on the pillow   Where my head oughta be   Come here my little wifey    Explain this thing to me   How come a head a-laying on the pillow   Where my head oughta be?   You blind fool, you crazy fool   Can't you never see?   It's only a cabbage head   You're granny sent to me   I've traveled this world over   Ten thousand miles or more   But a moustache on a cabbage head   I never did see before