Caffeine and vaseline bought for my sweetheart   True love if you know what I mean   Down at the mini-mart   I'll laugh when she falls down, stop when she turns around      She wants her rabbits foot so she'll be guarded    I said "don't talk that way.....you sound retarded"    God knows that I will try   Ten bucks says she will cry, ten bucks says she will cry   Ten bucks says she will cry, ten bucks says she will cry      She thinks I'm being mean and I don't blame her   It ain't easy being green and we both know that    So what if it's obscene?    Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline   Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline   Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline      My baby's big and dumb   She'll kick the shit out of everyone but me   I'm hers and she is mine   I ask her how she is and she says "fine"    It ain't easy being green...caffeine and vaseline!      Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline   Caffeine and vaseline, caffeine and vaseline   Caffeine and vaseline   Vaseline