God, I have to know   Is it really true?   I refuse to believe in    The stuff they write about you      You always look real depressive   But thatÂ's what makes you cute   Say it ainÂ't so, say it ainÂ't so   Have you become a fruit?      Vaseline bizniz, improves your record sales   Vaseline bizniz, you know it never fails   Vaseline bizniz, will make you interesting   When youÂ're too pissed to dance and too high to sing      My teenage dream is fucked   Although you donÂ't know   While I plan for our marriage   You find some handsome guy to blow      Then you speak about it frankly   In an in-depth interview   And I slip into denial   Â'Cos I know it isnÂ't true      Vaseline bizniz, improves your record sales   Vaseline bizniz, you it never fails   Vaseline bizniz, will make you interesting   When youÂ're too pissed to dance and youÂ're too stoned to sing      Yeah, I had a bad time   My heart was torn in two   Burned all my posters   Thought IÂ'd never make it through      But I worship another boy-group now   Everybody else sucks!   I even got their autographs   Take that, you backstreet cocks!