Of course, I'm not suggesting that you lie about your age, your income or your occupation, but if all you're after is a night of rampant sex, it pays not to be too upfront. If you want to take a hot chick home tonight, give the sexy pick up lines a miss.

The trouble that many men have is that they listen to their friends' advice - and, while the guys may mean well, their hints are not always that helpful. If your friends are encouraging you to crack a dirty joke, stop and think again. Do these men really know what they're talking about? Are they any more successful with the chicks than you are? And can they back up their suggestions?

I do know what I'm talking about. I am a success with women. And I am about to explain to you exactly why bawdy pick up lines do not work; I'm even going to tell you what does.

The logic behind telling a dirty joke is simple. By mentioning sex, you can make a woman think about having it. If you make a woman think about having sex, she'll want to do it - and, as the closest to man to hand, you stand a good chance of her choosing to do it with you.

In practice, it just doesn't work that way.

Girls don't think the way that we men do. They may claim they want a guy with a sense of humor, but their idea of a joke is very different from our own and they don't find obscenities seductive.

Bear in mind that a line which seems hilarious to you and your drunken buddies is not necessarily going to impress a girl. 'Don't cross your legs; you're crushing my supper' might crack you and the guys up, but say this to a strange chick and you should fully expect to offend her.

Girls like to believe that there's something special about each one of them. They want to believe that you're interested in them not just because they're beautiful, but because they're funny or sweet or intelligent too. If you imply that you know you want to sleep with them before you even know their name, they are going to be insulted.

So what's the alternative?

The good news is that you don't have to give up on pick up lines completely. If you're too shy to simply walk up to a girl and introduce yourself, there are one liners you can use.

Change the focus from what you'd like to do to her to how much you'd like to spend time with her. Do tell her you noticed her across the room. Do offer to buy her a drink. Do ask, 'Can you spare a moment for me to try and impress you?' You don't need to hide the fact that you're hitting on her, but do take the time to show an interest in more than just her short skirt.

Ask her questions about herself and really listen to the answers. Make eye contact and smile widely. Touch her arm, tell her jokes, and avoid making obvious references to sex.

The simple truth is that women don't sleep with you because they know you want to sleep with them. Women sleep with you because they're flattered to know that you've taken the time to seduce them.