Divorce and cohabitation has led to an increased number of children growing up in single parent households. While the proceedings of a divorce could have emotional stress on the parents, it could be an even more severe blow to young minds. Unless the divorcing couple contribute towards helping their children cope with the situation, this can have a negative impact on the child's future.



What the Statistics Say

A recent study reveals that in the UK, majority of single parents were women and in about 80% of these cases they were unemployed. This means that they need to depend on their ex for alimony and child maintenance. Hence, if the ex moves away or does not pay the maintenance regularly, they might not be able to afford the expenses for education and other wants of their children.

Also, the highest divorce rate is among the couple in their late 20s. This implies that the children involved in the divorce would be very young. Also, the surveys reveal that a lot of these children are in the age group of 5-10 years, the crucial years that shapes up a child's character. Hence, they would be too old to understand the pain of separation and too young to cope up with the situation.

Negative Impacts of Divorce on Children

Various researches have found that a divorce has emotional, financial and physical effects on children. Some of the common problems resulting from parents divorce are child delinquency, loss of self confidence, early pregnancy, poor grades at school, mood swings, physical illness, dropping out of college or school due to lack of funds, etc. However, with right amount of effort and contribution from parents, these problems can be avoided.

Protecting your Children

Since, divorce has a lot of consequences on children, parents need to first try out all means of reconciliation before making the final call. However, if divorce is the only option, then they need to work together in preventing their divorce from affecting their kids.

Here are some of the useful tips that would help you to protect your children from being affected by your divorce:

1.Talk to Them: Once you and your spouse are sure that divorce is the only option left, it is better for you to speak about it to your children instead of having them find it out the hard way. When you talk to them about divorce, make sure to tell them this would not affect their love towards the children in any way. Also, make sure the children speak out their doubts and feelings. This can avoid them from having all the troubles buried in their little hearts.

2.Spend more Time: When you are busy about the legal proceedings of the divorce, make sure you do not neglect your children. It might increase their fear and distress. Take time off your busy schedule to spend quality time with them and assure that they are still being loved the same way.

3.Child Custody: It is unfair to punish your partner by refusing him child visitation rights. It is necessary for your children to be loved and cared by both the parents. Hence, joint custody would be the best option for your children. Although, it might involve efforts in finding a suitable house in the same area and having your child shuttle between the two houses, it is still a better option since your children might feel safe and secure that way.

4.Staying in Touch: Sometimes, one of the parents might move away to a different part of the world to meet his/her professional demands. However, make sure that you still stay in touch with your child. Providing monetary support for the children alone is not sufficient. You could call them regularly or stay in touch with them though email. Pay them a visit at least once in a year.

With the support of your ex, you could actively involve in the upbringing of your child as well. You could exchange information about your child's photos, grades, performance in school and sport through email. This will ensure that you are still actively involved in your child's life despite the distance and make your child happy.

The Last Word

It is not possible to completely prevent your children from suffering the pain of divorce. However, it can be reduced to a great extent by taking proper initiatives as mentioned above. Once the children begin to realise that they still have their parent's love despite their divorce, it might be only a matter of time before these emotional wounds heal without leaving behind even a scar that you need to be worried about.