Come just as you are to the online dating table. Placing an ad is easy. But, placing a dynamite ad is an art. You only have one chance to make a good first impression. Ahead you will learn to outshine nearly all others.



The importance of photos and profile narratives and their quality is paramount. Logically it follows that you will want to place an ad about yourself which will excite the greatest interest in your potential viewers. You must know your audience. Important - Photo should have an easily visible (large view) of you. Most personals photos are dark and look like they were taken from far away. Closeness, that's the mood you want to create in your audience.

Some of the key elements in your personals ad which you may not have thought of, but will be judged by are;

Is he articulate? Is she original? Is she educated? Is he charming? Is he interesting? Is she witty? Is she courteous? Is he outgoing? Finally - Is he willing to put forth some effort in his ad to win me?

What you write will tell who you are! As we have just seen it's not just what you say about yourself and your desires that will tell her about you. The composition itself will spell out who you are. Better to put your best literary foot forward to make a positive statement about just exactly who you are.

At this point let us address the men and then a little alteration for the women will be in order. Ad techniques are different for both genders. Men are not especially looking for funny or good listeners, whereas women generally are.

For the Men

Let's begin by discussing structure. Structure will give a logical flow to your audience. There is nothing worse than a scatter-brained personal that is too busy, it turns women off.

1. Let us begin with the picture. Women are not visually stimulated in the way men are, so seductive is not the key. You must be well groomed and approachable. Look into the camera. Looking away will make you seem aloof. Use inviting body language. Smile, and bear your neck dimple. (Where the collar bone meets the neck) Military uniforms and business suits (ties) cover this area for a reason. We cover this vulnerable area so as not to portray vulnerability. In your personal ad you want vulnerability. Remember you are targeting women. 2. Salutations - According to Parade magazine a simple Hi! is a great opener. This is just the ice breaker. 3. Personal introduction - Give your name or nickname if you wish.

4. Biographical information - Start out with an opener which will grab her attention and reach into her heart. Appeal to her emotionally. Women are emotionally centered. Make it so that she must read your ad! After this stage give her just the facts. This directness shows strength and confidence. Both are qualities which women value. Be honest and avoid the heartbreak of separation caused by dishonesty. Maybe she would rather have a plumber than the CEO of Microsoft after all.

This is your online dating bio, so include what you wish. Items usually mentioned are; age, occupation, and children, race, place of birth, where you live, favorite foods, entertainment preferences, hobbies, music tastes, and education.

Finally, give them some tangible asset about yourself to make her want you. No boasting. Put it in such a way that you do not seem arrogant. Put it something like - I've been told that I have a great sense of humor or that I'm a great cook.

5. Now that you have told them you know who you are, tell them you know what you want. Do you want a down to earth gal? Say so. The divas will be repelled and the woman who appreciates it most will answer your call. Be descriptive and to the point!

6. Conclusion - Paint a mental image of what your lives would be like together. Something romantically appealing works wonders. In case you haven't noticed women love romance. Woo her. Be careful in your invitation not to use negative or conditional words like - if you are the one. Instead of this use - you are the one I would love to warm up by the fire with. She will know when you are speaking to her, if she is the one. Use these final words to make her feel like a kindred soul. Once your ad is structured coherently we must now ensure that the following elements have been included.

1. Salutation - Short, polite. Hi! or Howdy, whatever best suits who you are.

2. Descriptive adjectives - Positive and powerful superlatives which will enhance her imagery experience and build curiosity. Infect her with your zest for life

3. Spelling and grammar - Look intelligent, educated, and thoughtful.! Consult a spell check or dictionary and correct errors. We are not all English professors, Have someone critique your writing.

4. Warm text - Use key words that stimulate emotion. Words such as fun, romance, love, happiness, and feel give a warmth to your writing and will give her a positive reading experience. Again, this will give her a little insight as to what life with you might be like.

5. Courtesy - Don't use harsh language or slang. Best to come across in a serious dating forum as polite.

We realize that there is a trend of extremism out there that feels the need to shock. She will appreciate you even more for being a gentleman online.

6. Spur her to action - At the end of your ad be sure to urge them to reply now. Make it a suggestion. Say something like - Why not email me now and seize the day with me? I'll be right here waiting for you !

We have an example of a dynamite personal ad at http://www.christiandatemate.com/christian_dating_pers-ad-sample.htm

For the ladies

Fortunately for women the online dating scene is predominantly male in terms of numbers. This works to your advantage - more fish to choose from. However you cannot rest on your laurels though. You still need at least a cursory knowledge of what motivates men, blended with your own original creative touch. Hopefully you took the time to read the men’s section. All of the above applies to women as well with a few exceptions. Make them want to read your ad using compelling imagery. Remember men are more visually stimulated than you are.

Use a complimentary photo of yourself. Alluring is good, but be careful not to send the wrong message. Be sure to project yourself as warm and inviting. Smile and look into the camera. Use body language that says come a little bit closer.

Best wishes in your quest!