The "to do" list of even the simplest marriage celebration is focused on the act of joining a couple to be as one. Many couples become so involved with the large details of the wedding such as when and where it will be and how many guests to invite that the question of how to write wedding vows can be left to the last moment. While there are the traditional vows of marriage in every religion, many couples want their vows to be more personal but at the same time appropriate.



An excellent way to begin is to imagine what you would like to be able to say at your 10th wedding anniversary; how well have you and your partner communicated during that time, what situations would you likely have faced, what is most important to you in your relationship?

Think about the values and ideals that you and your partner share. For some the spiritual connection is the most important. Religious texts provide eloquent descriptions of the loving rapport, support and trust between a husband and wife. These provide a solid foundation for creating wedding vows that preserve and strengthen a marriage.

Wedding vows can also be used to declare to all of the witnesses present your devotion to each other and the qualities of your partner that evoke your affection. You can state the goal of your marriage, what your dreams are for the future and why you have chosen to journey through life with this special person.

As you go through this process, keep in mind that a vow is a solemn promise and as stated in the standard marriage ceremony text, "not to be entered into lightly." Because love is always tested and sometimes the tests can be so difficult to bear that the vow seems impossible to keep. In some cases, that may be true, but all too often vows are exchanged without fully appreciating what the words really mean.

Composing the words that are important to the two of you can be made much easier by discussing the matter with someone you trust who has been married for several years. They can help you identify the issues that are most important to include as you write your vows and also provide you with realistic insight on the practical side of marriage as well.

If you are both members of a religious organization, turning to the individual who will perform the marriage ceremony will give you another perspective. Some of the issues that concern people who are about to marry are based in the questions of fidelity and child bearing. Many of the expectations of the past, such as the woman staying at home and raising children is not as easy to do today and it's important to know how your religious beliefs and life's practicalities can be handled in a marriage. The most important part about how to write wedding vows is to listen to your heart and let your conscience be your guide.