If there is something about traditional wedding vows that do not sit well with you, then writing your own vows might be a great alternative. It could be a way for both of you to put a personal stamp on your wedding ceremony. You do not have to be a perfect writer or even hire a professional writer to write your wedding vows. You just have to find a way to express your love and commitment in your own words.



Before you start crafting your wedding vows, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. First, you need to check with the church or officiant to see if personalized vows are allowed. Once in the clear make sure that your partner-to-be is also just as willing as you are.

It's a good idea to decide beforehand what kind of tone you would like to strike: light-hearted, romantic, religious, funny? Some couples opt to write the vows together, while others choose to keep them secret until the day. So, decide which option would work best for you both.

Once you are ready to get started, here are some wedding vow tips to keep in mind to help you put words to paper:

Keep in mind that your vows should be kept to 1 to 2 minutes each. Remember it is not a speech. Anything longer and you will lose the attention of your wedding guests.

Keep it Original

Of course it is tempting to have someone else write your vows for you, but this is something that you want to come from the heart and not from someone else's.

Don't Lose Yourself

Write in your own style. Don't try to be someone you are not. If you are a natural comedian, this is not the day to try out your own stand-up comedy routine. Be yourself.

More Than One Draft

To help get over the hurdle of writing those very first words, keep in mind that your first draft might very well stink. Do not shoot for perfection on the first draft. One tip is to begin by writing whatever comes to mind or simply brainstorming some ideas to paper.

Don't Pull an All-Nighter

You're no longer in college, so give yourself some time. Do not attempt to write your vows in a day or the night before the wedding. At least a month or even two would be ideal.

Practice Aloud

Once you have a draft ready, practice reading aloud your vows. How do they sound? If there are moments that make you squirm, then more than likely you should make some changes. Remember try to sound as natural as possible. Have someone close to you listen to you practice, as they may be able to hear things that you might not on your own.

Commit to Memory

Since your vows will be short, memorizing what you want to say won't be that difficult. On the day, you don't want to be fumbling for a crumpled piece of paper. However a cheat sheet in case of an emergency is perfectly ok.

When You're Stuck

If you have been staring at the same words for far too long and need some inspiration, try thinking about some of the following:

- What are some things that you want to promise to do while married (i.e. sharing, giving, communicative)?

- What do you love most about your partner?

- How did you know s/he was the one for you?

- What are some things you have learned from your union?

- How do you envision your future life together?

Good luck!