There is no doubt that planning a wedding can be one of the most daunting tasks a person can undergo. Since the majority of the work traditionally falls upon the bride and her family (let's face it, the guys, largely, just don't care if the flowers are yellow and pink, canary and magenta, or goldenrod and cherry) it is always a good idea to have the assistance of a professional wedding planner or at least a trusted friend or relative to help keep all of the details in order. That assistant can take care of everything from ordering the cake to making sure the reception seating arrangement is in order and Uncle Herbert is as far from the bar as possible while Aunt Helen and Aunt Gertrude won't come in contact with one another at all. One thing that will be entirely up to the happy couple, however, is the decision on the wedding vows. This is one aspect of the event that the groom will have to participate in as well.
The traditional wedding vows are immortal and familiar to us all. We've all heard the phrase “to love, honor, and cherish,” a million times before and, regardless of race, religion, or nationality, we all immediately associate these words with the marriage ceremony. There is nothing wrong with that. The traditional wedding vows are powerful words of love and commitment and, if you like those vows and they hold a special place in your heart, then you should feel free to include them in your wedding ceremony.
Many couples write their own wedding vows. The practice is now so common that original wedding vows have almost replaced the traditional vows as the norm for weddings, but that does not mean that the time-honored vows are any less meaningful.
For those that do wish to write their own wedding vows, the options are limitless. Some couples pen their wedding vows completely from their hearts and minds, using this portion of the wedding ceremony as an opportunity to express their love and devotion to one another in a very personal way. Others borrow literary quotes, song lyrics, poetry, or other non-original material that expresses their feelings for their beloved, to incorporate into their wedding vows. Anything that says how you feel is acceptable.
Each religious faction has their own understanding when it comes to how wedding vows should be shared. There is however one message regardless of the denomination and this is to commit to a life shared with love and caring no matter the future circumstances which may arise.
There are however a few variations in the ceremony and how and when the vows are taken. Often the couples' religious leader will be involved in the writing of the wedding vows and so reference to their beliefs will be included.
During the ceremony and hallowed by the faith of Israel, Jewish couples exchange wedding vows while the ring is placed upon the finger.
Muslim wedding vows are taken with the couple sitting apart from one another, committing to each other in the affirmative three times and then signing a marriage contract.
In a Buddhist wedding ceremony, a couple may pledge as part of their vows to cultivating compassion, generosity, patience, enthusiasm and wisdom while committing to grow in dharma. They may also pledge to seek to understand all living beings and regard all the mysteries of life with openness and joy.
Omitting the mention of God or a spiritual higher power, non-denominational wedding vows will generally hit many of the more traditional themes of commitment. If a couple have different religious backgrounds, they may choose write these types of vows to avoid conflict.
So much time and energy goes into planning a wedding. Getting the wedding dress, cake and invitations perfect will remain a top priority for the bride to be. Couples should remember though that committing to each other through your wedding vows is truly what matters most.
Writing your wedding vows can be a truly spiritually uplifting process. Whether you choose traditional vows of your faith as a basis for writing yours or write them from scratch using your own true feelings as inspiration, always bare in mind that you are promising to love, honor, and appreciate each other for the rest of your lives.
Both Kirsten Hawkins & Tyler Reese are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
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