Can you believe that in some States a security officer is assigned to protect divorcing couples in the courtroom? Such unbelievably sorry state of affairs exists when a couple undergoes contested divorce. These separating spouses argue, engage in verbal duel and finally hit and lash out at each other. The physical assault gets so violent that security personnel are required to protect these battling partners. This is a sad but an expected reality, for courtrooms highlight the negative aspect of each spouse. After generation of much bitterness in these courtroom battles the judge pronounces an equitable verdict. Such a verdict, the couples themselves might have reached had they been in a better frame of mind.



If you are also planning to approach a solicitor to handle your contested divorce, think twice. Try to avoid soliciting justice in a courtroom. Such divorces apart from being expensive and time consuming produce too much of bitterness that leave a permanent damaging impact on you. Seek the services of a mediator. Nothing can be more peacefully effective than conflict resolution in a calm and controlled atmosphere.

Mediators

Have you ever realised that much more can be wrought by reaching cordial agreements than by the using force? Mediation service helps prove that point. Such is the power of mediation that even the ancient Romans and Greeks had professional mediators in their society.

However, application of mediation to divorce is a fairly new concept, though; their need was sorely felt since long. Mediators save you time, money and much heart break. They are non judgemental and help you realise the need for reaching an agreement by emphasising your prime interests. It is a good alternative to contested divorce. Anyway, given the newness of the concept, many are sceptically wary of availing these services for their efficacy is not yet fully tested.

How Effective are Mediators

A mediator helps you resolve issues of conflict with your spouse. This is its main advantage, and all other benefits are offshoots of this.

• Once you resolve your conflicts, it is not necessary to hire expensive solicitors to fight your case. Mediation services are thus cost effective.



• Quick agreements also lead to quicker divorces. The legal proceeding hardly takes time; it is the decision making that delay the process.



• Mediation helps you to stay in control of your divorce. You decide the issues that affect your life the most and not the judge.



• Mediation helps you better your relationship with your spouse. Positive atmosphere is important to enable future co parenting.



• Finally, conflict elimination benefits your children a lot.

Another such service that has similar benefits is ?divorce counselling.?

Divorce Counsellors

As is commonly believed counselling does not help prevent a divorce. Rather, these services help you handle the rough period that entails divorce. Counselling services centre on enabling you understand the emotions you experience, and teach you how to handle them by advising you of the varied sources of available support. The advice is issue specific and a counsellor teaches you effective ways of communicating with your spouse and children. In short, they help you reconnect with life and let go of the past.

Such emotional help is much needed during a divorce. The benefit it evokes is numerous.

• The most important benefit is that you experience a sense of calm and peace.



• This understanding helps you forget the pain of the past relationship and come to terms with the divorce.
  
  
• Once you have accepted the situation, moving on to new relationships is not difficult.



• You can develop cordial relationship with your spouse, with whom you were initially antagonised. The benefits of a congenial relationship hardly need further enumeration.

Mediation and divorce counselling helps you build an amicable relationship with your spouse. Such sociable ambience has long term benefits. However, the similarity ends here. These two services are radically different.

Differences between Counselling and Mediation

• Counsellors concentrate on their clients and speak with the other marital partner only if the need arises. Mediators on the other hand, work with both the spouses together.



• Counsellors help their clients by giving the requisite advice. Mediators do not counsel.

The differences apart, both these services aim at helping their clients weather the difficult divorce period. Never forget to avail their services during your divorce for they benefit you and your children. Otherwise contested divorces devastate for life.