Ahhh...sweet youth    The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute    Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator    Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked on the weed    and the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed    And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit    Let's go hit the    Nitro-burning funny bong    Just one hit, your life goes wrong    Nitro-burning funny bong    Another stupid stoner song    Fat and lame    The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed    By a bong, and a schlong    Yes now we have all seen how games can go wrong    My brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased    Laden with pus it hangs well past my knees    A swarm of narcotics could get me through this    My manager's gonna be pissed    Let's go hit the    Nitro-burning funny bong    Just one hit, your life goes wrong    Nitro-burning funny bong    Another stupid stoner song    Oh, can you take it    Yeah, do a monster    Oh, can you deal with it?    We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys    Now I'm old    Strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold    In the twilight of my years I am still a drug addict    I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong    Moistened with lotion, wrapped in a sarong    I live like a king but you know that I act like a faggot    Once was a warrior, now just a sponge    High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge    My glorious destiny it turned to shit    Can I get another hit?    From the    Nitro-burning funny bong    Just one hit, your life goes wrong    Nitro-burning funny bong    Another stupid stoner song    Oh, can you take it    Yeah, do a monster    Oh, can you deal with it?    We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys