Raise your glass   We have incorporated    Place your bets   We're all so sick of waiting    Queen takes jack   You got me this time but I'll get you back   So pick a number      To all the ones who tried the most   Was I supposed to cheer your efforts   Sorry that I chose so poorly    Golly gee am I the poster girl      She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places   The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces   She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining   Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling      Lift your hats   Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs   They'd make an angels skin crawl   If you ask them for assistance    There's an even chance    You'll get a number      To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them   I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient      To all the ones that hated me the most a toast   You really had me    Going for a second I was nervous    Boy am I the poster girl      She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster   The kind who tell you she's bipolar just to make you trust her   She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser   Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her      To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess   Who was mine in Ninety-nine I want last names and current status   To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second    I was nervous boy am I the poster girl      For some suburban sickness    Better keep a healthy distance   Now its up to you know what to do   It's pretty dirty business