A friend brought me flowers, she said, "They were lilacs"   But I've never been good with plants   Her next presentation, a new dictionary   She'd circled the word "Romance"   So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic   I shaved her name in my head   And as she beheld it, she said, "I misspelled it"   Need more be said      These apples are delicious   "As a matter of fact they are," she said   Can all this fruit be free?      She wrote me a letter as big as a phone book   I've never been big on mail   I sent her a postcard from somewhere near lethebridge   And wondered if it still went by rail   I've never been frightened of being enlightened   But some things can go too far   Though sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar   You get what my meanings are      These apples are delicious   "As a matter of fact they are," she said   Can all this fruit be free?      I'm not tryin' to sing a love song, I'm tryin' to sing in tune   I know I am sometimes headstrong   Falling in love, catching fire, I wanna be consumed   Wondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire, will I ever tire?      These apples are delicious   "As a matter of fact they are," she said   Can all this fruit be free?