If I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   Well I'd buy you a house   (I would buy you a house)      And if I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   I'd buy you furniture for your house   Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an Ottoman      And if I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   Well I'd buy you a K Car   A nice Reliant automobile   If I had $1,000,000   I'd buy your love      If I had $1,000,000   (I'd build a tree fort in our yard)   If I had $1,000,000   (You could help, it wouldn't be that hard)   If I had $1,000,000   (Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere)      You know, we could just go in there and hang out   Like open the fridge and stuff   And there'd already be foods laid out for us   Like little prewrapped sausages and things   Mmm, you know, they have prewrapped sausages   But they don't have prewrapped bacon   Well, can you blame them? Yeah      If I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   While I'd buy you a fur coat   (But not a real fur coat that's cruel)      And if I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   Well I'd buy you an exotic pet   (Like a Llama or an Emu)   If I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)      Well I'd buy you John Merrick?s remains   (Oh all them crazy elephant bones)   And if I had $1,000,000   I'd buy your love      If I had $1,000,000   (We wouldn't have to walk to the store )   If I had $1,000,000   (We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more )   If I had $1,000,000   We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner      But we would eat Kraft Dinner   Of course we would, we'd just eat more   And buy really expensive ketchups with it   That's right, all the fanciest ketchups, Dijon ketchup   Mmm, mmm mmm      If I had $1,000,000   (If had $1,000,000)   Well I'd buy you a green dress   (But not a real green dress that's cruel)      And if I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   Well I'd buy you some art   (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)      If I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   Well I'd buy you a monkey   (Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)   If I had $1,000,000   I'd buy your love      (If I had $1,000,000)   If I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   If I had $1,000,000   (If I had $1,000,000)   I'd be rich