Only buy this if you're lonely   Only listen if you're blue      Only buy this if you're lonely   Only listen if you're blue   If you are married and you are happy   This song is not to do with you      If you're listening at your work place   Feeling small amongst the men   Do not sing this to your workmates   This song is not to do with them      But if you're sitting on a barstool   Wondering what on Earth to do   Don't let them tell you no-one cares   This song's one especially for you      If you are listening on your radio   Smiling while you drive along   Tune the band into another   Because this song is not your song      If you're working as a DJ   Leave this record in its sleeve   'Cause this one's not for general airplay   This song's for the day she leaves      If you've bought this and you're sinking   And I think that you know who   It matters not the mouth that's singing   This song's one especially for you      So this goes out to the lonely   So this goes out to the sad   And it goes out to the only   One you felt you ever had      If you're there in total darkness   With a letter in your hand   Do not bother with the letter   And just listen to the band      So only buy this if you're lonely