I know girls like you   Need someone to screw-up their life   And make you contemplate suicide,   When you need a friend to    Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah   Call on me... yeah      You need someone bad,   To irritate your dad,   Someone who'll make you cry,   And sock you in the eye,   When you need a friend to   Bring you to your knees,   Call on me... yeah      Am I crazy enough? Am I angry enough?   Am I stupid enough? Am I lazy enough?   Am I drunk enough? Do I flunk enough?   Am I jealous enough?   Am I selfish enough to be...   Your bridge under troubled water, yeah!      You like pain, you're insane   You can key my car,   And punch my face in the bar   When you blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah   Call me... oh yeah      Am I crazy enough? Am I angry enough?   Am I stupid enough? Am I lazy enough?   Am I drunk enough? Do I flunk enough?   Am I jealous enough?   Am I selfish enough to be...   Your bridge under troubled water, yeah!      Am I boring enough?   Am I snoring enough?   Am I demanding enough?   Un-outstanding enough?   Am I fat enough? Mad enough?   Am I bad enough? Wear plaid enough?   Am I drunk enough?   Smell like a skunk enough?   Do I wank enough?   Do crank enough to be...   Your bridge under trouble   Your bridge under trouble   Your bridge under troubled water!