It was a sad, dark day   I woke up, leaned over, then purged   And I turned on the radio and heard   That Coldplay got eaten by piranhas      I had a bad week   In an already bad month and year   And on top of this I have to hear   That Coldplay got eaten by piranhas      I didn't want to know the details   Because I couldn't take any more bad   I didn't need more than I had had   Even before   Coldplay got eaten by piranhas      It was Friday the 13th   And I'd narrowly avoided being murdered   And when I couldn't be upset any further   Coldplay got eaten by piranhas      It was the day I buried my best friend   And my dog got hit by the hearse   And when it couldn't get any freaking worse   Coldplay got eaten by piranhas      It was a bad life   In an existence of bad lives   I was broken out in full body hives   It was then that I heard   Thanks to a dose of the absurd   A bad combination of words   Coldplay got eaten by piranhas   Coldplay got eaten by piranhas