Oh..    You can tell a dirty story    In the old conservatory...       But don't go in the basement!       You can make a scene    On the mezanene       But don't go in the basement!       You can fill yourself with static    With the ghosts up in the attic       But don't go in the basement!       You can light yourself a torch    On the old front porch       But don't go in the basement!       Oh you may think that it's real cool    To ride down the bannister like some darn fool    Oh don't go... DONT GO!!    Don't go in the basement!       You can feel quite aloof    Playing rummy on the roof       But don't go in the basement!       Where the cockroaches dance    You can wallow in romance       But don't go in the basement!       You may think that it's deluxe    To ride the bannister filled with rust       Oh don't go, don't go!    Don't go in the basement!!!!