Opening night, it's opening night      It's Max Bialystock's latest show   Will it flop or will it go?   The cast is taking its final bow   Here comes the audience now      The doors are open, they're on their way   Let's hear what they have to say      He's done it again   He's done it again   Max Bialystock has done it again      We can't believe it   You can't conceive it   How'd he achieve it?   It's the worst show in town      We sat there sighing   Groaning and crying   There's no denying   It's the worst show in town      Oh, we wanted to stand up and hiss   We've seen shit, but never like this      Max Bialystock has done it again   The songs were rotten   The book was stinkin'   What he did to Shakespeare   Booth did to Lincoln      We couldn't leave faster, what a disaster   We are still in shock   Who produced this schlock?   That slimy, sleazy Max Bialystock      What a bum!