I'm gonna take my best friends Sam and Jen and were gonna go to a bar  Were gonna watch the men run around in circles and see how silly they are  (I don't mean all men; I just mean some men…don't take offense)    Here comes Jerry, Bachelor number one  Works for the police and carries a gun  But I'm not impressed  I'm amused at best with this sloppy slurring drunkard and his bullet proof vest    I'll beat you up if you try to touch my ass  I don't take kindly to being harassed  Hey that rhymes  Have another drink and get high  Cause I'll never find what I'm looking for in here  I'll never find what I'm looking for in here    Hey there little boy  You look like slim shady and I'm thinking maybe you'll buy me a drink  But what I didn't know was you wanted a blow job in the boy's bathroom and I said,   "FUCK YOU!" I think    I'll beat you up if you try to touch my ass  I don't take kindly to being harassed  Hey that rhymes  Have another drink and get high  Cause I'll never find what I'm looking for in here  I'll never find what I'm looking for in here    It's just a game we play anyway  I've got guy friends I know who do It every day  They go to the club just lookin to score  With some sweet young thing getting Jiggy on the dance floor  And they fork over 5's and 10's for mixed drinks and beers  And when their broke in the end  They go home with their friends  And he goes home alone  Until he plays again    This place is crawling with all kinds of bugs  Just looking for some action and an icy cold bud  A little word to the wise boys  Don't go buying me drinks because I've never been that easy and cheap    I'll beat you up if you try to touch my ass  I don't take kindly to being harassed  Hey that rhymes  Have another drink and get high  Cause I'll never find what I'm looking for in here  I'll never find what I'm looking for in here