Working in a suit and tie  On the twenty-second floor  A wife who cooks and stays at home  And children to support  And they provide some comfort  From your worries and your cares  But you get your kicks in tearooms  From ten-minute love affairs  And that's just fine  You won't find a lecture here  But you get more unhappy  With each passing year  At the office Christmas party  Your wife is by your side  But with all the pretty women  It's the men who catch your eye  The old ones are distinguished  And the young ones are so sweet  And you would like to dance with them  But you have to be discreet  Holding onto ideal  That you don't understand  Sacrificing all the love  You'd like to give to a man  Martinis on a Friday  Business lunch at noon  The secretary's curious  Why you left your desk so soon  Rushing out to meet someone  That you never thought would call  'Cause you were slightly older  And he was dark and tall  Now he is there beside you  But there's no place to go  'Cause he has got a roommate  And you've got a family at home  Closet case