There are Jews in the world there are Buddhists   There are Hindus and Mormons, and then   There are those that follow Mohammed, but   I've never been one of them      I'm a Roman Catholic   And have been since before I was born   And the one thing they say about Catholics is   They'll take you as soon as you're warm      You don't have to be a six-footer   You don't have to have a great brain   You don't have to have any clothes on you're   A Catholic the moment Dad came      Because every sperm is sacred   Every sperm is great   If a sperm is wasted   God gets quite irate      Every sperm is sacred   Every sperm is great   If a sperm is wasted   God gets quite irate      Let the heathen spill theirs   On the dusty ground   God shall make them pay for   Each sperm that can't be found      Every sperm is wanted   Every sperm is good   Every sperm is needed   In your neighborhood      Hindu, Taoist, Mormon   Spill theirs just anywhere   But God loves those who treat their   Semen with more care      Every sperm is sacred   Every sperm is great   If a sperm is wasted   God get quite irate      Every sperm is sacred   Every sperm is good   Every sperm is needed   In your neighborhood      Every sperm is useful   Every sperm is fine   God needs everybody's   Mine and mine and mine      Let the pagan spill theirs   Over mountain, hill, and plain   God shall strike them down for   Each sperm that's spilt in vain      Every sperm is sacred   Every sperm is good   Every sperm is needed   In your neighborhood      Every sperm is sacred   Every sperm is great   If a sperm is wasted   God gets quite irate