Paranoia is the insect worming its way   Through my subconscious thoughts   It's the larva of my self doubt   Gestating in my heart as I spiral down   And everything I touch is breaking   And it falls to earth in splinters   And I shiver as every splinter   Finds its way underneath my skin   And after 22 years I can still make my skin crawl   Every shortcoming, a pitfall   On my way to making amends   Within myself to be what I became      Sometimes it feels like the whole wide world   Has made itself my enemy   But I will stand upon my own two feet   And raise my head up      I lick my wounds   Trying to cleanse the infection   Rabid and diseased reality fades away   When I pushed myself too far   A dream of emotional perfection   Has left a wounded heart   Trying to perceive the gifts inherent inside me   It's like squeezing the trigger   It's like opening fire   On everyone who's let me down   On every beautiful lie that is only fiction   For the first time   I'm losing control and I like it   Freedom feels like the noose is gone