Lately, I've seen red, I've tasted blood   I've killed with words, I've wished and hoped   And swam through a river of snot   Twice as wide as the mighty Mississippi      But I wanna know about the commercial I saw on TV   An Irish guy walking through a field of green   Whistling one of those Irish jigs   And a woman walks up and says   "Manly yes, but I like it too"      Then the guy pulls out a huge knife   And cuts off his first two fingers   And somehow catches them   In what's left of his left hand   And hands them to the woman   Did I mention they're both dressed in green?      They, they both sing this song together   "Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?   Are ya hot as anything?   Hey, cut off two of your fingers   And stab yourself in the eye"      Then he stabs himself in the eye   And hands her the knife   And she stabs herself in the eye, okay? Okay?   So what about that?      Then they join arms and do this Irish folk dance   While taking turns dismembering each other   This was a commercial for deodorant, I think   Or soap or something   So now all the body parts are lying in a heap      But the heads are still singing   "Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?   Are ya hot as anything?   Hey, get away from summer   And cut off all your limbs"      Then all of the body parts   Start hopping and bopping around like little bunny rats   Then they jump into the mouths of the singing heads   But then they just slip right back out   Through the severed necks and keep bopping about      It's very beautiful music that's playing   There's an Irish flute and a mandolin, I think   And the background singers sound   Just like the Clancy brothers      It's really a wonderful commercial   Spectacular, it must of cost a fortune to make   The kind of commercial you'd see   During the Super Bowl, maybe      Where the advertising time costs   A million dollars a half a minute   Wow, imagine that   A million dollars for a half a minute      Anyway, by the end of it   It looks like the two of them have been through a juicer   Or a food processor or a blender or something   It's just a pink puree of blood   Bone and flesh in a big bucket      But it's still singing somehow   "Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?   Are ya hot as anything?   Hey, blend yourself, process yourself   Become a glass of animal juice"      "Haven't you had enough   Of fruit juices and vegetable juices?   Next time company comes over   Offer them a cool refreshing glass of yourself"      "Give of yourself   Stop being such a selfish piece of snot   Okay? Okay? Okay   And now, back to our program"