I woke up this morning with a bad hangover   And my penis was missing again   This happens all the time   It's detachable      This comes in handy a lot of the time   I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble   Or I can rent it out when I don't need it      But now and then I go to a party   Get drunk   And the next the morning, I can't for the life of me   Remember what I did with it      First I looked around my apartment   And I couldn't find it   So I called up the place where the party was   They hadn't seen it either      I asked them to check the medicine cabinet   'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes   But not this time   So I told them if it pops up to let me know      I called a few people who were at the party   But they were no help either   I was starting to get desperate   I really don't like being without my penis for too long      It makes me feel like less of a man   And I really hate to having to sit down   Every time I take a leak      After a few hours of searching the house   And calling everyone I could think of   I was starting to get very depressed   So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast      Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place   Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street   I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven   Some guy was selling it      I had to buy it off him   He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17   I took it home, washed it off   And put it back on      I was happy again, complete   People sometimes tell me   I should get it permanently attached but I don't know   Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass   I like having a detachable penis      Detachable penis   Detachable penis   Detachable penis   ...