[in a high falsetto voice]  Uncle Marshall!  Will you tell us a bedtime story?  [regular voice]  Here we go...    Now once upon a time not long ago  There was a little rapper about to blow  But his album came and it was not good  I think it went lead or double copper wood  So the silly little fans they were mislead  By a nerdy internet computer hip-hop head  "Me and you, 'Clef, we're gonna make some cash  Grab the silver paint and let's paint my ass"  Hey mister, would ya care to bare witness to  The ass-whippin' I'm about to administer  To this ass-kissin' little vaginal blister  Stanabis, little Marshall Mathers' sister  And in this corner, we have the mister  Not havin' it, it's the mad sinister  Dr. Evil with his bag of tricks for  this little antagonist faggot dick-suckin'  Ex-LL Cool J fan from Windsor  I'm 'bout to murder little Kenny fag Keniff-sta  You bastard I ain't wanna have to diss ya  Canabis, where the fuck you at? I miss ya!    [Chorus]  Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch  Where for art thou Can-i-bitch?  Please tell me what happened with  That style that you were rappin' with  Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch  Are you from Los Angeles  New York or just a janitor  From Canada? Oh Can-i-bitch    Now at first I ain't really understand the shit  Picture me for a second and imagine it  Chillin' in the Bat-Mansion and relaxin'  When all a sudden some bullshit comes across the scanners  It's Can-i-bitch on some "Stan Lives" shit  It creeped me out at first. Man this is sick  For me, being just a sick, this conflict  Gets my dick harder than arithmetic  And I know how you jealous ones envy  I shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent me  The first two letters you were tellin' me shit  Like you respect me, like any other regular MC  The third letter you ask how come I ain't return  None of the messages at Shady Records you left me   The fourth letter: "Slim, you really startin' to upset me!"   The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get me   The sixth letter there's a bomb threat in our building   This crazy motherfucker's really tryin' to kill me!   So I went back and read the first few letters that said   Some shit about a message you left   Oh shit, that's not an "E" that's an "A"   This dude wants to leave me a "massage," he's gay!!   Right away I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre   We got a bogey! (Marshall I'm on the way)     [Chorus]  Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch  Where for art thou Can-i-bitch?  Please tell me what happened with  That style that you were rappin' with  Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch  Are you from Los Angeles  New York or just a janitor  From Canada? Oh Can-i-bitch     So in two seconds flat Dre's at my crib   The funny thing is we both know where this kid lives   And neither one of us have Canadian citizenship   Shit. Oh Dre, wait a mintue that's it   All we gotta do is use a bit of turbo boost   We can fly over the border "Let's go" [WOOSH!]  So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed   [BOOSH!] (What was that? Oh) Jermaine Dupri   Fuck It, keep goin' no time to waste   Wait, backup hit him one more time in case   Okay .. fuck now he's draggin' under the car   Oh well, only 30 more thousand miles   Meanwhile me and Dre are tryin' to conversate   Just tryin' to find a reason for the constant hate   And tryin' to figure out what happened to 'Germaine Propaine'   "He couldn't have fell off that hard" Ain't no way   "What happened to the way you was rappin' when you was scandalous   That Canibus turned into a television evangelist"   Plus he raps with his regular voice [BOOSH! BOOSH!]  [BOOSH! BOOSH!] (What was that?) Pet Shop Boys   So we pull up to the bridge where he last was spotted   His corpse was still movin' but his ass was rotted   He kinda smelled a little like Courtney Love   I figure if I stick him with a fork he's done   So I stabbed him twice, kept jabbin', Christ   He won't die, this guy's like a battered wife   He's like Kim, he keeps comin' back for more   But he won't fight back I cracked his jaw   Hold up, 'Bis quit foldin' up!   Punch me in the chest! Make my shoulders touch!   Do somethin'! At least one punchline   C'mon till the meter reads 9-9-9-  ty-nine percent of my fans are blonde   'Bis c'mon answer me man respond!   Tell me 'bout the sun rain moon and stars   Intergalatical metaphors from Mars!   Raw to the floor, raw like Reservoir Dogs   Bite another line from Redman's song!   Suddenly the stub from a dead man's arm   From a midget reaches out from under the car   It's JD, this motherfucker won't die neither   Dre starts sprayin' him with cans of ether   We stomped the bitch and then stopmed the bitch again   (Compton!) Detroit bitch! Talk some shit again!   Stomp him! (switch feet) Stomp him! (switch again!)   Dre alright he's dead dog, quit kickin him!   I think Stanabis jumped off the bridge again (Damn)  He disappeared yo he's gone he did it again     [Chorus]  Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch  Where for art thou Can-i-bitch?  Please tell me what happened with  That style that you were rappin' with  Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch  Are you from Los Angeles  New York or just a janitor  From Canada? Oh Can-i-bitch