Shary: In front of a tavern,   Flat on his face,   A boozehound named Barney   Is pleading his case.      Barney: Buy me a beer,   Two bucks a glass.   Come on, help me,   I'm freezing my ass.      Buy me brandy,   A snifter of wine.   Who am I kidding?   I'll drink turpentine.      Moe: Move it, ya drunk,   Or I'll blast your rear end.   Barney: I found two bucks!   Moe: Then come in, my friend!      Shary: And so, let us leave   On this heartwarming scene.   Bart: Can I be a boozehound?   Homer: Not till you're fifteen.