The first time I went to her house I brought Chinese food in a bag  I wasn't greeted at the doorway by her, but her dad  He said "You better stay outside."  I said "What for?"  He said "You second class poor boys treat my daughter like a whore."    Melanie, I fell hard for her on some Long Island beach  But she was the kind of girl, only a special man could reach  After all I work on the Triboro collectin' your tolls  Her daddy gave em one last chance and I took her out to bowl.    They got a speed boat, I take the subway  An indoor pool and pockets of cash  A dozen acres on the north shore  I live above a discount store    So I replaced my leather with a tie  traded in my jeans, to make the mirror lie  When her dad saw me, he knew I was tryin'  he said "that was your last chance, don't want you feedin from the family line."    They got a speed boat, I take the subway  An indoor pool and pockets of cash  born without a family fortune was I  Can't get home with bubblegum and dimes    And so her brother caught us, talking through her window  But I said "I love you" before he got to me  the fist on my head was heavy as a cello  he said "You'd better not see my sister again."  When I tell my friends this, they all find it funny. The only thing I learned  is don't act like you got money