I am a pretty little dutch girl,   As pretty as pretty can be   And all the boys around my block   Are crazy over me      I was walkin' down the street   Look at boobs, asses, faces   Went into Salvation Army    For some used glasses cases   Next to the doorway   The cashier in casmir held up an old map of Norway   She flipped it over, and the message read 'You're gay'   Looked at her anxiously   Two lip rings looked like fangs to me   I said, 'Hope my sperm'll get under your thermal   Underwear because you're cuter than Nermal'   She said, 'Go get a haircut!'   So I showed her my bare butt   Pulled down my Carhearts,    Put my Moon in her StarTrek   And to make stupid stupider,    I slapped a ring on my ass   Said, 'Now my Moon's Jupiter!'   Fuckin' asshole      She has a boyfriend, Fatty   He comes from Cincinatti,   With fourty-eight toes   And a pickle on his nose   And this is the way the story goes      Clickity-clack he's at the rag with a jacket   It's black Italiano look back cause he's backlet   Hey, what's up with these fuckin' Chinese looking   Street-gang jackets   We started to slowdance   I said, 'No chance for romance   If I have to wear condoms,    Cause they feel like snowpants'   But I couldn't stay calm becuase she revealed a bra   Made of two yamakas   I said, 'You're hella great! Lets celebrate'   We took the freight elevator to continue   Our back and forth shaggin sports   In the room with the dampenport   When men become cuckles   She chuckled, I felt her knuckles above my belt-buckle      One day when she was walking   She heard her boyfriend talking   To a little girl with the strawberry curls   And this is what he said to her      My pissed off gibrowski turned three colors like Christof Caslouski   I said, 'A hand job's a man's job, you're job's a blow job'   That porn snob, that corn cob with a doorknob   Is a born slob, and I'll blameless   Every penis wants to be famous   It's a good way to stay misogamistic and aimless   She said, 'I'm glad you explained that,   My name is Jane Pratt, before you jerk off on my head   Please pass me that rainhat'   So I did, you know, what can I say?   I'm a lonely male who'll settle for any phony in a ponytail      C'mon, bring your women over here so I can show 'em a real Italian man. I got the best of both fuckin' worlds here. Fuckin' black man's dick, and an Italian man's brains