The standard metric system measures distances and weights   For mass and volume, length and height, it's used to calculate   Compared to standard US measures, one can plainly see   The metric systems blunt efficiency      Yard versus metre   Quart versus litre   The pound squares off against the kilogram, you see   A decimal equation   Defines the US nation   As fools afraid to change their terminology      The world has the kilometer, and we have got our mile   The time has come to face the facts and face them with a smile   So if those foreign weirdos try to ask us to conform   We'll blow their stupid countries all to hell