Been pattin' the dog   Gotta wash my dukes   Goin' right round the bend   With my knife, fork, 'n' spoon   Morty-Mort-Morton   Showstopper Calhoun      Been kickin' up shit   Gotta shine my shoes   Sugarpie's been cookin'   Since Tuesday afternoon   Morty-Mort-Morton   Showstopper Calhoun      Been naughty all night   Gotta find my suit   I ain't been eatin' right   Look like a beanpole soon   Morty-Mort-Morton   Showstopper Calhoun      Been pattin' the dog   Gotta wash my dukes   Been kickin' up shit   Gotta shine my shoes   Morty-Mort-Morton   Showstopper Calhoun      Gotta wash my dkues   Gotta shine my shoes   Gotta find my suit   Morty-Mort-Morton   Showstopper Calhoun