I used to buy my chips   From an oppressive chip shop regime,   The girl who worked there    She seemed happy   But I knew it was not what it seemed,   "Do you want salt and vinegar?"   Was what they made her say,   But in the language of the ghetto   That means "Help,   I'm a woman in chains!"      I wanted to free her,   In my dreams I would see her   Running naked through the woods round Rainham   If I had some tigers I'd train them   To protect her   From the sexual facism that was lurking round the gherkins      I'd lean across the counter and we would talk,   I carved her name, Debbie, on a little wooden fork,   But into the shop came a skin-head gang   They snatched the fork from my hand   Debbie, she looked at me   To assert my masculinty I said "Oi!"   They said "What?!"   I said "Nothing."