Hello, allow me to introduce myself,   My name is shady, so nice to meet you   It's been a long time,    I'm sorry I've been away so long   My name is shady, I never meant to leave you, Yeah      You see that chick in the gym, checkin' me out?   Any second I'm about to stick her neck in my mouth   I lose a pill and I'm recklessly wreckin' the house   That was supposed to be breakfast, where the heck is it now?   It's the necklace I lost, right next to Stephanie's blouse   Man, I should check to see if my mom left any out   Nope, guess I'll reroute, maybe somewhere in the depths of the couch   Woop, jackpot, yeah, open sesame mouth   Down the hatchet, the feeling you can't match it   I'll rap tap tap on your door with the damn ratchet    Attack -tack -tack in the hall with the damn hatchet   A knapsack packed with like forty-some Xanaxes   Shorty come back, I'm trying to score me some lap dances   I'm about to relapse, so baby pour me some Jack Daniel's   Formula 40-40 and 40's with mad capsules   The bad apple spoils the bunch, I'm back at you      Girl, I don't mean any harm   All I wanted to do is just say "Hello"   And are you menstruating, baby, my little friend's waiting to say "Hello"   The way your titties are wiggling and your booty's shaking like Jell-o   Girl, I don't mean any harm, all i wanted to do is just say "Hello," Yeah      My equilibrium's off, must be the lithium   I don't need to buy any drugs, man, people give me them   It just becomes every day extra-curriculum   No reason in particular, it was strictly fun   A fifth of rum and two bottles of 151   51 people are sleepin' in my damn living room   "Excuse me, hun, but what is your name, Vivian?   "I woke up next to you naked, and uhh, did we umm...?   "Of course we did, but didn't I strap Jimmy hun?   "I'm looking for the torn wrapper, but there don't seem to be one   "No offense, baby girl, I don't mean any harm   "But disease is something I'm trying to keep my penis free from."   I find the package and I'm cool, I immediately run   Like Speedy Gonzales to see if I see anyone   Who might have a couple of 3's, I'm fiending for some,   My head is pounding to the beat of the drum         Girl, I don't mean any harm   All wanted to do is just say "Hello"   Do you happen to have anything on you that make my mood mellow?   Some are oval, and some are pink, some are blue, and some are just yellow   Girl, I don't mean any harm, all I wanted to do is just say "Hello"      Oh, those were the days, they certainly were   It's hurtin' me to note that I'll be closin' that curtain for good, (word word...)   I second that and I third, rush to emergency surgery to try to flush me   Because of the drugs that he purchased, he's the loner getting them $300 bucks for these Percodans   Thus is getting to be where he'll lustfully search the den   Pain is hitting his knee and his muscles be hurtin' him   Tirelessly on the phone trying to wrestle up muscle relaxers    for his back and a couple of Paxils   Now he's doubling back words, and he's stumbling back   Slipped and fell; hit his back, boom!   heard something go crack   Now he's up in the bathroom   Like he's bustin' a nap   Almost ended it that soon because of the fact   I'm just bustin' my own chops when I'm bustin' to rap   Resuscitated and rejuiced, so fuck it I'm back      Girl, I don't mean any harm   All wanted to do is just say "Hello"   Do you happen to have anything on you that make my mood mellow?   Some are oval, and some are pink, some are blue, and some are just yellow   Girl, I don't mean any harm, all I wanted to do is just say "Hello"      And so I'm sayin':   Hello, allow me to introduce myself,   My name is shady, so nice to meet you   It's been a long time,    I'm sorry I've been away so long   My name is shady, I never meant to leave you      Yeah, it's like startin' over,    A clean slate, hah.