[Verse 1]       I was born with a dick in my brain    Yea fucked in the head    My step-father said that I sucked in the bed    'Til one night he snuck in and said    We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed    "Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead?"    After I fuck you in the butt, get some head    Bust a nut, get some rest    The next day my mother said, "I don't know what the fuck's up with this kid"    The bastard won't even eat nothing he scared    He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead    Debbie don't let that fucker get you upset    Go in there stick a fucking cigarette to his neck    I bet you he's faking it    I bet you, I'll bet he prolly wants to see how upset you would get    I'll go handle this of course unless you object    I'll go fuck his brains out if any is left in his head       [Chorus]       If you could count the skeletons in my closet    Under my bed and up under my faucet    Then you would know I've completely lost it    Is he nuts? No, he's insane       If you could count the skeletons in my closet    Under my bed and up under my faucet    Then you would know I've completely lost it    Is he nuts? No, he's insane       [Verse 2]       You get it? No he just tried to bite my face off    I just got fucking chased off with a chainsaw    Then he took the chainsaw bit the fucking blades off    Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot    Then he aimed at his own face let the thing pop    Took his eye out picked it up and played ping pong    Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong    That motherfucker's got nuts like king kong    Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn    And he layed all up underneath it with the thing on    Then he took his pants he took every fucking thing off    Everything except his tank top and his training bra    Ain't he raw? Yea, maniac that Shady dog    Man that motherfuckers gangsta, ain't he dog?    Shady dog, what be going through that fucking brain of yours?    Say no more, what the fuck you waiting for? Sing along.       [Chorus]       [Verse 3]    Don't you know what felch means? (Yea)    Well then tell me, would you rather get felched or do the felching?    Fuck 'em in the ass suck the cum out while you're belching    Burp belch and go back for a second helping    Can you dig what I'm saying man? can you smell me?    I want you to feel me like my step-father felt me    Fuck a little puppet kick the puppy while he's yelping    Shady what the fuck you saying? I don't know help me!    What the fuck's happening? I think I'm fucking melting!    Marshall I just love you boy I care about your well-being    No dad I said no, I don't need no help peeing    I'm a big boy I can do it by myself see    I only get naked when the babysitter tells me    She showed me a movie like Nightmare on Elm Street    But it was X and they called it Pubic Hair on Chelsey    Well this is called Ass-Rape and we're shooting the Jail scene       [Chorus]